Personal Progress - Individual Worth

So I have been working on finishing my Mission Scrapbook. This is my final project to complete my Personal Progress. I started it several years ago by compiling my letters alongside my mom's letters. This is truly a family history because of all the family information recorded in these letters. It also records the last year of my brother Chad's life. the grief and loss we felt at his death. I keep coming back to this point in my life and I just have some emotional issues to heal. Grief entered into my life never to leave again. Over the years I have asked myself, why things turned out the way they did. So on this project, I have really spent a lot of time reading, pondering, remembering and even doing some follow up on friendships. It has been very thereputic for me and I have done some beneficial letting go. This year marks 25 years since I left on my mission. It is really strange how so many of my decisions, trials and blessings I have today, swing on the events and feelings of the 18 months I served.

As I was deciding which project to do, this one was the one that came to me. Nothing helps us understand the worth a soul, more than teaching someone the gospel. God loves everyone and you can really feel it when you are involved in missionary work. Not only that but as a very shy person who has very few outward talents, I often doubted myself. On my mission, it was different though. the Lord strengthened my weaknesses in amazing ways. I felt like I had worth and value. Even years later on a difficult day I ride on that knowledge and strength gained so long ago.

March 2nd (yesterday) was the anniversary of my brother Chad's death. He passed away just one month before I returned from my mission, in 1993. He was 21 years old and going to college at the University of Nebraska with a major in Engineering. He was my best friend at that point in my life. He was my confidant. Time has blurred my grief and loss. But it lies asleep, deep with in me and still brings me to tears. Understanding of the next life has helped me to live without him in this life. In the mysterious ways of the Spirit, Chad has been there for me on many occasions as a source of hope, comfort, warning and blessing. I am so grateful to have a brother like that!